Below are some ways you can help yourself move through the healing process. A clergyman or professional counselor may be helpful, as you can talk openly and confidentially. Seek a divorce recovery group in your community, so that you can interact with others going through the same emotions. Some people get stuck in the pain of divorce, and may experience depression, whether mild or severe.
In that case, it is imperative to seek professional help, through your family doctor or a licensed therapist. People who have a religious base may find this is the time they rely deeply on their faith. Now is not the time to try to hold in your feelings.
Cry when you need to. Express your fears.
16 Ways to Find Healing and Hope after Divorce - Christian Marriage Help and Advice
Voice your anger. Grieving is a process you won't navigate smoothly if you aren't able to be vulnerable and acknowledge each phase as you work through it. Many people find that journaling gives them a safe place to process their thoughts and feelings. Using a similar framework, I help my clients understand the difficult process of divorce through four stages. It is also possible to experience a stage more than once.
This is the stage where one or both partners become aware that the marriage is not working.
For the spouse s who decide to leave the marriage, this stage may take months or years. It is a time of denial, isolation and sometimes bargaining, characterized by last-ditch efforts to save the marriage.
Why are breakups so painful?
Realization occurs when the couple is ready to admit to themselves that the marriage is not working. Attempts have been made to save the marriage and both parties are willing to move forward with the divorce. One or both parties make a decision to begin the legal process of divorce. After the legal process has ended, there are many new life circumstances to set in place and the adjustment period can be challenging.
Sometimes this is when depression sets in.
Dispose of all these as you also start to clear your mind of negative thoughts. It will take some time to recover from the emotional trauma caused by a divorce. Going through every day as you did before may not be ideal because you will just be reminded of the times you were still with your spouse.
To prevent yourself from dwelling on those painful memories, keep yourself busy.
Some people distract themselves by putting most of their time and effort on work. Others do it by taking on new activities and hobbies where they can meet new people and experience new things. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off your problems.
7 In-Depth Ways to Recover After Divorce & Heal (More) Fully
If you have been married for a long time, it may take some time to adjust to being single again. Instead of dwelling on regret about the things you gave up or the things you were not able to do during your failed marriage, take this opportunity to find yourself again and do the things you really wanted for yourself. Go for that one thing you are most passionate about. A change of environment can help you with the healing process , so if you have a chance to travel, whether as a vacation or on a long-term basis, do it!
If you are given the opportunity to move to a new city or country, this would be the best time to do it. It will give you a chance to start anew. They say that time heals all pain. Although some people claim that the heartache never really goes away. You just learn to deal with it through time. Either way, take it one day at a time and hopefully someday you will realize that you are ready to move on.
A failed marriage is not the end of the world. Everything happens for a reason. You may not understand it now, but someday you will look back on this experience and you will realize why it had to happen. Instead of dwelling on anger and hate, try to focus your attention to the things that should matter to you at the moment. If you have kids, make them your inspiration to work hard and give them what they need.
Holding onto a grudge will not help you at all. It is normal to feel all the negative feelings that come after getting a divorce, but you have to try to forgive yourself first. Do not blame yourself for your failed marriage. There are many reasons why things happened the way they did, but holding onto regret will only pull you down.